One day, when perception met reality...

At the crossroads one day, in midlife somewhere, perception met reality.

Boastfully,she asked "Why do you still exist my friend? When all that the 'human' now cares is only me and the parallel. He wants to be either in his virtual life (where he tries to show what he wants) or parallel life (where he acts as what he wants himself to be) 

So whether his mother is lonely somewhere,his kid needs him sometime,his spouse wants to connect with him,his sibling wants to entertain him,his friends want the real him - he still cannot let me go anywhere anytime. Right from morning alarm to good night kiss,I am a part of him,so where is the need for you my friend?"

After a big sigh,reality replied "I am like the shadow to the human. When he is in the best of his times, bright and cheerful,trying to live his virtual life and be perceived as somebody,I may not be visible to everyone. But perception,you have a limited life and no sustenance without a periodic booster. You try instigating each human to turn into a megalomaniac. And when you fail him,you deceive him,I make him understand that perception was never here to stay. Instead goodness,hope,inspiration,compassion,humility,hard work are for real. That there is a real purpose to every human's presence and when he engulfs himself with his perceived image,it takes longer for him to discover why he exists.Perception,I stay here to undo the damage you do to him.I stay so that he does things which matter. I stay to make him understand, it matters not what he is thought to be,but what he actually is!" 

The Un'common' hero!

What I am planning to pen down today may well be one of the most abstract things I've written.Not many may understand what I want to say forget relating to it.But this is something which has been troubling me for a long long time.
Had come across this saying by Plato one day 'Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle'
This got me thinking. This is one of the rare quotes which asks us to stop following idols,stop praising the exceptionals,stop trying to show we appreciate talent across the world.Instead to appreciate the mediocrity of exceptional individuals. And these individuals are exceptionals only because they are common people living everyday life, struggling to make ends meet, just about keeping their parents and children happy, faithful to their work, decently honest, not handicapped or poor so no sympathy is ever bestowed on them.So is it easy to be a common man? Not really. Because nobody considers you a hero.Except your spouse maybe (that too wife who may as well think you are a perfect man) but is it enough to live an unadventurous life.Probably not.
Still how does this common man dude survive.Answer as per me is occasional genuine kindness by known and unknown people around him.for eg.a number of times BEST bus drivers in mumbai have stopped their buses mid way on road to let me cross when I was carrying my one year old son in my arms.
Point I am trying to put across very simply is if the proportion of these people within our own family and even outside increases,who are kind to our everyday struggles in life, whether they can relate to it or not, but are kind, won't we live in better times.
Charity flows from well-to-do to not-so-well-to-do people,but kindness has no direction,no limitation. We all know nobody has an easy life throughout life.And whether we know the battles in someone else's life or not,being kind will go a long way in making this world a little more livable for all of us un'common' heroes.

Child gives birth to a Mother!

It's 12 am and I suddenly have a nostalgic feeling, about what? I am actually missing something but what?

It's a baby kick. I am missing a baby kick.

And then I see you,dear son. 

Sleeping deep besides me.

So that kick were you.

So when I had those midnight hunger pangs,it were you.

So when everyone in the world seemed to care for me, it was for you.

Of all the stages in a women's life,  daughter, wife, mother, the most beautiful and most respected stage is that of pregnancy. Nevertheless it is a short passing phase.

So it begins with the usual 'how will I look like' and 'how will I manage' kinda apprehensions and ends where: the moment your 15 minute old son holds a finger you stretch out to him. Science calls it a reflex action newborns possess, I would like to believe otherwise :)

Anyways, so between these two bipolar thoughts lay those months which offer some pleasant surprises.

Surprises because as a women who is brought up in India, you are not used to such respectful attention as listed here :P

1) No taxi driver will ever say 'no' to you (if you stay in Mumbai you can empathize with what am saying)

2) People will stop lifts for you to board even with your annoyingly slow crawls/walk

3) Flexible working hours (you do need some luck with bosses here too)

4) Any bad mood can be passed on as a hormonal change :P

5) People smile at you when you eat ice cream no matter how humongous the portion is

6) You are forgetting things frequently or want another mad-over-donut's donut, you can blame everything on pregnancy ;)

7) The best part - your husband will never make fun of you, make sure the fridge is stocked, accompany you for those evening walks, rub your tired feet and will put his best effort to make sure you always stay calm :)

All in all, it's a much needed midlife realization that civility is still alive and is showered on those who are pregnant. 

And the greatest perk of course is bringing someone into this world who, you will love more than your own imagination :)

Rishte me to hum tumhare baap NAHI lagte!!!

This blogpost is dedicated to a person who almost considers himself ‘THE’ second son of Amitabh Bachchan. 

And if only love for Amitji is the criteria and not DNA, then his first son.

In KBC, it always did look like there are people crazy for Big B. But here, I’ve one right by my side, whose love is not only biased and crazy, but it surely deserves him a chance to meet Big B once. What better option than KBC now since same will be aired from September.

I know Nakul well for many years now and his love for Big B hasn’t faded a bit. So, will it be possible to jot some points which reflect this.

Let’s try.

      1)     As a kid, Nakul’s favourite movie was Ajooba. Honestly, this was a shocker for me. Ajooba….really??? 

      Now, his all time favourite - BLACK. (Still much more acceptable J )

     2)    To say, he has seen Amitji’s almost all movies (YES, including RGV ki Aag, Boom and Department) multiple times would be an understatement.

     3)    Nakul does mimicry of several actors quite flawlessly including Amitji. In fact, his mimicry shows at IIM K also centred around Amitabh Bachchan as the lead character.

     4)    If ever we’ve a son, he wants to name him Amitji….NO NOT Amit or Amitabh but Amitji…(reminds me of the contestant who had come to ‘Roadies 9.0 audition who had named his son ‘Roadies’ :P )

     5)    When the last KBC broadcast time had changed from 9pm to 8:30pm, there was not a single day in those 2-3 months when he came later than 8:30pm from office. (Those who know his work timings will surely understand what it means ;))

     6)    Any other Bollywood personality who ever tries to be modest gets NO appreciation but a smug “Amitji wali humility nahi hai isme” ;)

Probably marrying a girl of almost Jaya Bachchan’s height was also not a co-incidence ;) 

Phewwwwwwww J

Where the mind is without fear!

I’ve not written anything for over an year. Not that I didn’t feel like. But somehow, the mundane job & routine life were the only things I could focus on and who likes to hear/read about similar things in any other person’s life and that too of someone living in a city like Mumbai where discussing about rent and mode of daily travel are the favourite topics.

Moreover, India didn’t win much except the world cup & some domestic tours so couldn’t focus on that topic either.

Lokpal bill has already been spoken about a lot (and I actually took some time to figure out whose demands are genuine), so could not write about that either.

Movies, I cannot write much except the irritating (to others) first day diplomatic reviews I post on FB.

Not that I was too busy - managing work and married life. In fact, my current organization has been so kind, I feel more close to being a housewife than a working professional. In fact, I was about to pen down an article on ‘101 ways to look busy when you’ve no work’. But then dropped the idea since everyone in my organization has mastered that art already. I am still learning the nuances from them - for free of course.

I am a firm believer; one’s progress in an organization depends on an individual’s shit taking ability. I am a little poor in that, even thought of taking up some individualistic professions like being a professor sometime back but then patience (read PhD) is a virtue not many have.

However, it ain’t that bad either. The high points in my short banking career so far has been the chance to meet so many individuals who’ve started something of their own years back and are currently running organizations worth crores of rupees. So someday, I meet my COEP alumni 1974 batch who heads an infrastructure company of 1500 cr revenue today. And a person who has managed to achieve this remarkable feat had prodigious social intentions as well. He built schools, hospitals, etc. for his employees, brought technology to amateurs, who otherwise would have been doing some menial odd jobs with meagrely salaries and leading pitiful lives. And there are ‘n’ no of examples from the older generation who’ve taken such a commendable plunge. One of my personal favourites is Narendra Murkumbi of Renuka Sugars (though I’ve not met him yet).

I wish there were no placements today and I (and many others like me) were forced to become entrepreneurs. Somehow the comfort of a monthly paycheque is too comfortable to let go. Someday I wish, though not at the cost of financial discomfort, but I do start something of my own. Torn between the desire to improve the world and enjoy the world, hope to choose the former. As one of my wise professor says ‘If you’ve the intention, opportunity will come, some day but there should be an intention to begin with’.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Roti, Kapda aur ‘MAKAAN’!

Could anyone ever make you feel like a white-collared poor? Come to Mumbai. The brokers here with their typical ‘Itna paisa me ittaich milega’ look will make one feel so when one plans to rent a house even if your budget is 3-4 times that of any other metro. In fact, exorbitant rentals are a matter of fact and one is not supposed to even express a surprise over it. And when one observes closely, every 3^rd shop here would be that of a real estate broker (exaggerated a bit, every 4^th may be). With a gold plated watch, 3-4 gold rings, gold chains, branded shoes, jeans, t-shirts, Honda stunner, office in Colaba, etc. they would have as good or even better standard of living than the to-be-tenants.

I’ve always wondered why Manoj Kumar (Director, Actor of Roti, Kapda & Makaan) has the typical sad look on his face. Probably, even he wonders how the 3 necessities have climbed at linear, cubic and exponential rates and don’t deserve to be used in a single breath anymore as was done in his 1974 blockbuster. So much so that, if he had to remake ‘RK&M’, he would definitely become a real estate broker to solve his family problems.

Cribbing apart, I’ve few observations for this city as I had for Delhi & Kolkata:

1) Everyone is a professional here. Right from the domestic maid to the taxi-auto wala to ticket counter wala and the list goes on and on.

2) Ask any Mumbaikar for some address and multiply the time he suggests by 4 to arrive at the actual time to reach that place.

3) Railway lines should not be crossed is a truth more honored here by its breach than by its observance.

4) Half of Mumbai’s population travels by local everyday and one-third travels by bus, given the amount of time spent traveling and the places where people manage to get a living, even if half of Mumbai shifts out of Mumbai, they'll have a much better standard of living than what they’ve here.

5) Salesmen in Mumbai local are like absurd ads. You won't understand what he/she is trying to say but they surely catch your attention.

6) You’ll feel good in Mumbai only if you’ve returned from Delhi & Kolkata ;)

Delhi, because people in Mumbai can be trusted, even the brokers, trust me.

Kolkata, because only Kolkata has a more ruthlessly humid weather than Mumbai

Frankly, I hardly have any feelings for Mumbai as of now. We (I and Mumbai) don’t share a good past as well. Last time I came here, there was 26^th July, typhoid to me. This time, motormen strike the day I landed. Whether we treat each other well in this 2^nd innings is yet to be seen now.

Don't be happy, Please!

Disclaimer:This post was written in utter frustration under the heat of my roof burning in 48 Degrees this summer in the Vidarbha region of Maharashtra . The arguments hence are pretty heated too.

There are two schools of thought. One is which our archaic religion (or even archaic education system), be any, teaches. Be content with what you have. Be satisfied. Don't be greedy. Money is the root of all evil. So, in places like I am at presently, my hometown, Akola and Kolkata (henceforth Kolkata can be included in any reference to the context at hand), people (and that includes me too) have learnt to be satisfied with whatever little they've or don't have. Even if that teaching extends to the basic neccessaties of life as simple as water and electricity. So, we Indians find new profound reasons to be happy. So earlier municipal water supply gave darshan once in 10 days now once in 8 days, we're happy. Load shedding - 7 hours earlier now 6 hours and again we're happy. It is this inferiorty complex of not expecting oneself to even deserve the basic necessities of life which is more painful to me than anything else.

There is yet another school of thought. Strive for more, be impatient. Earn fast and not for your entire life. Retire early, let your investments work for you not the other way round. It's not bad to be working for money.

Of course, just as the first school of thought is conveniently used to fit people's own needs & perceptions, the second one is used conveniently by most of us too. But given a choice between these two thoughts, why not work towards the latter since anyways nothings happening in the first one at least for the past 4 decades here.

Point is, can we stop being happy over the sorry state of affairs & at least try feeling frustrated at the lack of activity to improve things which have only deteriorated over the years. The amount of time put in pursuing religion & superstitions if dedicated to improving the lives of selves by expecting more & better for oneself will ultimately lead to the same. As put in by one of my wise profs "Conscious mind does affect the matter".

So some people, who've been putting all their brains together demanding a separate Vidarbha state, can you please (since you're motivated enough and have energy too) instead pour in all your energies in making people of Vidarbha intolerant to these efficiencies and tolerant to each other than the other way round at present. Can we please give up the illusionary 'Aal Izz Well' philosophy and can we stop progressively burning our desires under the heap of so-called new religious learnings, superstitions, etc.? Can people in these cities be as professional/aspirational as any other, dread competition and love convenience & comfort as a way of life! Unless we do, there's hardly anything to be expected from the administration who always lags when it comes to fulfilling the masses' need-gap!